Really quite simple.  Relationships should be defined. The definition of every relationship one is involved in should be a necessity. Even if the definition of that relationship is not clear to the other person, it is important that it is clear to you in your mind. Why? When a relationship is clearly defined in your mind, with boundaries, rights and obligations, the unnecessary emotional give and take is taken out of the mix, leaving you with an almost stress free relationship that is quite enjoyable. What is she talking about? I am talking about drawing and maintaining clear cut boundaries in every relationship one is involved in. How so? Like so πŸ™‚ . . .

A colleague is a colleague, not necessarily a friend. He or she, overtime in some cases can become a friend. If you were strangers before you became colleagues then the primary relationship between both of you is that of colleagues. The implication of this is that you should know the aspects of your life you want to share with a colleague on the one hand, and a friend on the other hand, in order to avoid awkward, unpleasant situations.

In my opinion, the same rule (definition of relationships in your mind) is applicable to all types of relationships. Be it the relationship between an employer and an employee, siblings, colleagues, etc. It should also apply to connections.

What do I mean by connections? Connections happen when two people who may or may not be involved with other people in a traditional relationship like marriage, connect with each other. Connections can happen on intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical levels. They are just connections and should not be tainted with sex especially where one of the individuals who shares such a connection is married. I use the word taint because though sex is right and great between a married couple, it is not, when it becomes an extramarital affair. For example, a married man may connect intellectually with a married woman who is not his wife. When this happens, it should be defined purely as what it is, an intellectual connection. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything has a purpose. And so the purpose for such a connection should be clear in the minds of the individuals concerned.

When relationships and connections are defined, it prevents the abuse of such relationships and connections. This goes a long way in taking out the stress and frustrations that occur in most relationships, and will in turn result in meaningful, fulfilling relationships and connections,

Can’t end this post without pointing out the fact that the most meaningful, fulfilling relationship or connection anyone should have is that between that individual and Jesus. If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, you are just existing. Get into that relationship with Jesus today. How to? Simple! Just say this prayer:

Lord Jesus, I believe you came to die for my sins. I accept you as my Lord and personal saviour. Come into my heart and my life. Thank you for saving me.


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Contributions? Questions? Use the comment section. Please click on any of the social media buttons at the end of the page to like or follow Chettioan. Read me on the next post! πŸ˜‰



  1. Thank you for this write up! A lot of the time men and women (men especially) think because you connect with someone on a deeper level, ultimately feel the relationship should lead to a sexual one. Sometimes they are just soul mates or twin flames that have been brought each other’s way to help them fulfill their destinies or get to their destinations in life. However there are some twin flames or soul mates who end up marrying each other. I agree that we should define boundaries in our various relationships for our own good.

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